“Ode To My Toaster”

Ode to my toaster, so shiny and clean
You’re the butterknife’s foe, you’re the bread’s trampoline
You’re the lightest, the darkest, the coolest and proud
You’re the jack-in-the-box of the countertop crowd.

In the old days you had a side entrance instead
You were far more ornate as a true thoroughbred
But now you’re a box with a push-button trick
You’re a bit more convenient, but a little too slick.

And if that weren’t sufficient to cause you some shame,
There’s your bullying arch-rival muscling in on your game
They say big toaster-ovens are “double the tool”
They can brown up a bagel and reheat your gruel.

But don’t be discouraged, I still think you’re swell
You do do one thing, but you do that thing well
And though fancy new gizmos might stir up a yen, remember
Your name still pops up, every now and again.